When I started this blog, in fact back in the very first post, I mentioned that I had moved across from another blog where I was posting amusing and frustrating interactions with users. I had planned to keep that going and run it as well as the spiel but that never happened. I've decided to delete it but there was some funny stuff there and seeing as at the time I didn't have an audience I thought it would be a good idea to post some of it over here for your reading pleasure. For the (I'm pretty sure only) one spiel reader who used to read my old blog... nothing to see here move right along, for everyone else, enjoy!
This first one was transposed from a phone conversation I had that morning:
(user) Hi ITG I have an issue with my computer
(ITG) ok mate, you're going to need to lodge an IT helpdesk and i'll get to it asap
(userGP) I don't think you can help me, that's why i didnt lodge a request, i was just hoping you can give me some advice
(ITG) what seems to be the problem
(user) I have a CD stuck in my CDrom and i cant get it out
(ITG) so the CD tray wont open and close?
(user) well, no... the CD tray is stuck open and the CD is stuck in the drive
(ITG) Umm ... so is it jarred in there? are you able to turn the computer off and then gently pull the CD tray all the way open? that way you can then just take the CD out.
(user) No No, the CD tray is fully open already, the CD is behind that, Inside the Drive, i cannot see the CD but i know its in there and i cant shut the tray because the CD is behind it.
(ITG) are you serious ??? I've never heard of that before. I have no idea how you managed that, i wasn't even sure that was possible
(user) I have magic powers.
(ITG) No, Seriously, How did you manage that?
(user) to be honest i have no idea.
Brand new laptop, remote location, daft user with (magic) powers... how could I not expect this !
This second one took place whilst we were migrating users from Lotus Notes to Microsoft Outlook. A fairly senior manager had been done the night before so I contacted them around lunchtime to ask them how outlook was going:
(ITG) Hi there, just following up.. how's outlook treating you?
(user) Hi ITG no Outlook very disappointed
(ITG) huh? how do you mean?
(user) I could only see Lotus and went to all the programs and no outlook!
(ITG) ok that's just odd..1 sec
(user) Just hank [sic] on, I have found a 2003 Outlook is that right
funny thing is, this conversation took place after the user had been sitting at their PC for a few hours, not receiving emails to Lotus Notes anymore .... quiet morning anyone ?
This last one is one of my favourites, it shows you just how frustrating life can be dealing with someone who doesn't know a computer from a shoe. It was hard for me not to swear here!
(ITG) press the power button
(User) which ones's that
(ITG) the button you use to turn the computer on in the mornings
(User) the bar button?
(ITG) I don't know what a bar button is ?? have you got a desktop or a laptop
(ITG) ok it will be on the box part of your computer
(User) you mean on the laptop itself
(ITG) laptop? You said you have a desktop
(User) oh yes I have a laptop sorry, it's on my desk though
(ITG) seriously, this isn't something difficult, it's the button you press every day to turn your laptop on
(User) oh, yes, you must hate people like me
yes ... yes we do!
Hope you're all enjoy the Tour de France ... loving it here!
Cheers, The ITG