Thursday, January 6, 2011

Welcome 2011! NEWSFLASH:The users are still annoying

Well here we are, ringing in 2011 with a bang. If the Mayans are to be believed this will be the last happy year we all have on earth. Just in case they are correct I'm going to party like its 1999, will you join me?

Having almost completely healed from the fire incident in early December I'd like to start off this year on a positive note... but I wont. If you'll allow me to continue my blogging at the start of 2011 with bitching about the end of 2010 then we can get right in to it!

In between Christmas and New years our offices were opened (in a reduced capacity) for 2 days, Wednesday the 29th and Thursday the 30th but closed weekends and public holidays. I'd say only about 20% of the company was working with many of the smaller sites closed so I wasn't expecting things to be crazy, having said that I was the only IT staff member working for those two days. In that time we received around 25 requests, which is quite a lot comparatively when you consider how many people were working. Of these 2 dozen or so there were 2 standouts, two idiots that I feel I should, nay must, share with you.

Firstly you need to understand how annoyed I was on the morning of Wednesday the 29th. I was on a post Christmas break high and feeling great when I woke up and rode my bike into work, I hardly saw any traffic and, without speeding, it took me 11 minutes from sitting on my bike at home to getting off at my office. I'm pretty sure this is a new record for me (without speeding). I love working this time of year, most people will say "oh that sucks you have to work through Christmas and New Years", my response is normally something along the lines of "well, I have no issues getting to work, no traffic, less people, less work, cruisy days and then I get to take my holidays when everyone else is slaving away in a sucky part of the year." It's brilliant!

Back to the morning of the 29th. I got to the office a touch late, pulled my phone out of my pocket and noticed 6 missed calls, all from different people. All of these people had IT issues, all of these people know the online form process, all of them decided to ignore it. We had gotten off on the wrong foot. Without returning anyones call I sent out an 'ALL STAFF' email explaining that IT support was working as per normal and that if people had issues they needed to lodge an online form. I went on to say (as I normally do) that the only situation in which someone needs to contact IT directly is if no one in the office has access to our intranet.

Not long after that the forms started rolling in, everyone who had called me lodged a form except for one, a member of the finance department.

Idiot number 1:
Immediately after reading my mail she called me again and the conversation went something like this:

     "I just got your email, thank goodness you're there, we've got an issue...."

     "sorry to cut you off, you'll notice in my email that you are required to lodge an IT form for assistance, I'm happy to help you but I'm already in another call, can you please fill out a form and I'll get back to you asap"

     "This is so complicated, I don't even know how we would put it in a form"

     "That's OK, just put down whatever you can and I'll call you if I require any more info, thanks.. bye"

I was annoyed but very polite. Annoyed would describe how I felt before I got the form, raging was how I felt afterwards... below is a direct copy of what was in the form (name removed of course):

"One of the Temps we have in the office cannot log into the network.  She has been using [users] computer and password, and this needs to be re-set on computer [computer name]."

WHAT IS SO FUCKING COMPLICATED ABOUT THAT!?!?! (i use !?!?! for a lack of an Interrobang in this font)

Idiot number 2:
The second idiot shows just how clueless (and apathetic) some people can be. He did the right thing and filled out a form explaining he was moving desks and wanted his phone extension changed from his old to new desk. When I went over there to check what ports they were I noticed a pop up on his screen:

"Your virus definitions are more than 30 days out of date"

We have our computers setup to download virus updates from an internal server automatically, clearly for this PC it had broken. I asked him:

     "How long has this been popping up on your screen"

     "oh, most times I log on for the last few months"

     "Did you not think it was something worth telling IT about?"

     "Nah, all you have to do is click 'OK' and it goes away"

Well played my friend, well played indeed. Then they bitch and moan when their computers are infected with viruses.

I must admit the first week back for 2011 has been nothing but a pleasure, we've had great weather (unlike some other parts of the world) and I've been very productive, crossing most things off my 'to do' list (including my first post for 2011). For those of you that got one I hope you had, or are having, a nice break. Happy New Year!

The ITG.


  1. Ah, people. Where would we be without them?

  2. Welcome back and cheers for all the awesome blogging - they really make my day :D

  3. Thanks for the new signature.

    "Nah, all you have to do is click 'OK' and it goes away"